You've got mail!

Ooooh. I received this interesting package in the mail. I've been waiting for this...how exciting? What is it? Ahhh...the big reveal once I get some decent photos of it.

Something to warm the cold autumn nights...

A new fall favorite creation... ginger-pear chai tea.


I had some leftover pear cores/peels from my cran-pear cheesecake, so I threw them in some water with ginger to simmer and then added a teabag of chai. The perfect drink for the cold autumn evenings we have been having. It's like a lovely pear cider - warm, sweet, and spicy.

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Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another:
‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.’ — C.S. Lewis

Friday morning grace

My youngest brother left for college this morning. He'll be moving in this weekend and on his own for the first time. I am super excited for him and praying that the Lord will grow him tremendously in the next four years. His leaving is bittersweet. Selfishly, I am a bit sad that both my siblings are gone, and I am apprehensive to think that I am the only one at home with both my parents. It'll be challenging at times I'm sure, but...gotta keep my chin up yah? Praying for good attitudes, and scores of macrothumia by God's grace.

My apprehension received a foreboding omen as this morning as my mother could not pass up an opportunity to ream me for several things before I left for work. It begins already. =) What a way to start off my work day, eh? There are times when my mother is in a critical mood that she will not only criticize me for past things, but she will then start get angry at me for things that she thinks I might do wrong. So much for innocent before proven guilty. How can I possibly reason with her for things that I might do that she is mad about? Er, how does one apologize for future things that one hasn't even lived out yet? *sigh*

Only with my mother can I be guilty before having done anything. But you know what? Before the Lord, I am guilty - supremely, condemningly guilty - and yet I have been forgiven. Amazing how every problem in life can be soothed by the sweetness of gospel truth. And that is the one thought that swept the gloomy clouds out of my Friday morning commute. A little bit of unexpected chocolate cake in the office doesn't hurt either. =)

trying to win on logos =)

Logos Bible Software is giving away thousands of dollars of prizes to celebrate the launch of Logos Bible Software 4 Mac on October 1. Prizes include an iMac, a MacBook Pro, an iPad, an iPod Touch, and more than 100 other prizes!

They’re also having a special limited-time sale on their Mac and PC base packages and upgrades. Check it out!

Lemon Yogurt Cake with Blueberry Sauce

How I miss reading food blogs. Lately my Google reader-ship has been taken over with wedding blogs and articles. Delving back into my food blogs this weekend yielded a treasure of "to try" recipes. I found one on my favorite Smitten Kitchen that begged me to go out and bake it that day. Hers was lime/blackberry, I adapted to include the fresh blueberries and home grown lemons I had on hand.



My baking endeavors started with me looking for the springform pan for a good 10-15 minutes. Lovely. But I was determined to make this cake. Mother's Day was around the corner so I got to baking Saturday night so I could surprise my mom in the morning, and also bring an extra cake to church for lunch. A note for those who don't have a microplane to zest your lemons...a serrated knife works decently, but it definitely is a labor of love. One that is serrated but not too deeply notched works best for scraping .


This recipe requires both baking soda and baking powder. Be sure not to mix them up in your measurements. =) One it's added to form the cake batter, you'll notice the batter might look airier/fluffier. This is probabbbbly because the acidity int he lemon and the yogurt will begin reacting with baking soda immediately. So don't wait too long before you pop it in the oven.

A note on the blueberry puree. I had one 6 oz. box, and I started out with adding just a bit of sugar until it was sweet enough. The original recipe called for more sugar and a bit of water, but perhaps blackberries are more tart. I felt that the blueberries had enough liquid to not need extra water.

Voila! Lest you worry that this cake is lacking because of the yogurt...fear not....it's full fat yogurt. =) The cake is moist and the tanginess of the yogurt adds something nice to the cake. It's sweet but not too sweet and it's got a bit of a dense crumb but without being too heavy. It's got a nice almost...chew to it. I don't know how to describe it or if it was because of the yogurt, but it's yummy and got a great texture. Bon appetit!

Lemon Yogurt Cake with Blueberry Sauce
Adapted generously from Smitten Kitchen

Cake:
1 cup whole milk plain unsweetened yogurt
1/3 cup olive oil (or vegetable oil)
1 cup sugar
zest of one lemon
1/4 cup lemon juice
2 eggs
1 2/3 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/8 teaspoon salt

Sauce:
6 ounces fresh blueberries (either fresh or frozen is okay; feel free adapt with any other berry)
2-3 tablespoons sugar
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
water (if needed)

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Grease the sides of a 9-inch round cake pan or springform pan with oil and completely line the bottom with parchment paper if the pan is not springform. You’ll need the parchment paper to get the cake out so don’t forget it! A 9-inch cake pan will likely yield a thicker cake than a larger springform. I used a springform in the photos below.
2. In a large mixing bowl, whisk together the yogurt, oil, sugar, lime zest and juice. Add the eggs one by one, whisking well after each addition. Sift flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt together; stir into yogurt batter until just combined.
3. Pour the batter into the prepared cake pan and bake for 35 to 40 minutes, until the top is golden brown and a knife inserted in the center comes out clean. Transfer the pan to a cooling rack and let stand for 10 minutes. Run a knife around the pan to loosen. If you’re using the springform pan, unclasp the sides. Otherwise, flip the cake onto a plate and flip it back on the rack. Serve slightly warm or at room temperature.
4. Combine blueberries, sugar, and lemon juice in blender or food processor. I recommend adding half the sugar and the rest a bit at a time until desired sweetness is reached. Purée until very smooth, and add water if sauce if not to the consistency you desire. If you like, you can press the sauce through a fine mesh strainer to yield a completely smooth sauce, but I liked the look of the sauce without straining. Refrigerate until serving with cake.

Note: I believe the cake should keep well for about 2-3 days, wrapped in plastic at room temperature. The sauce can be made up three days in advance, as well. It can also be frozen for future use, or mixed into any leftover yogurt you might have! Yumyum.

Dear Heavenly Father...

"Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."
- Hebrews 4:14-16

late night ramblings

There's kind of a lot going on in my life presently. Well, perhaps it is better to rephrase that there's a lot going on in my head nowadays. As far as my life, I feel that at times it is at a standstill. This past year has been filled with a lot of ups and downs and continuing difficulties. I am still kind of wondering when the trials will end, and wondering what it is that the Lord would have me learn in this time. But I guess...that's all okay. At the end of the day, it comes down to reminding myself that no matter what trials may persist that through it all God is sovereign. In any bad thing that may befall me in this life, God will use it for my good.

And I don't say that lightly or cavalierly. Trust me, I spent half of last night in tears, and a good part of it today as well. I can probably safely say that in this past year there have been more trials than smooth sailing days. At least...it is the trials that stick with me the most this past year. Yet, I have much to be thankful for. It is a hard thing to trust the Lord. Can we just go ahead and admit that to ourselves? I am so increasingly aware of my human weakness and limited understanding. So it is no small thing when I can even say that in whatever befalls me the Lord is sovereign and will use it for my good. It is something that I have to actively remind myself of and see within the pages of Scripture.

So, I've got ups and downs from time to time. Some moments are exceedingly difficult, and though I drown myself in prayer and Scripture and take comfort in God's goodness and faithfulness in my life, still I can't stop the tears from flowing. But some moments, there is this settled peace even in the midst of all my sorrows. I attribute it to the grace of God in my life. The peace and comfort I have from the Lord is not typically a brightly shining cheery happiness, but more like a quiet stillness. It is a kind of stillness in which my mind is quieted. My mind no longer buzzes with activity and is for those brief moments no longer focused upon that which brings me grief, sorrow, misery, fear, or anxiety. It is in those moments that I desire nothing else but that the cares of this life would fade away permanently and that eternity would just start right now so that I could just dwell in the physical presence of Christ.

What eventually happens is that those cares and concerns of this present life come crashing back down upon me, and I find myself back where I started...in the midst of a trial. All the weakness and sorrow is back, yet I know, I know, that I can still bank my hopes on the fact that one day all trials will end and eternity with Christ will come. I hope that as I learn to cling to Christ more, that I will have more moments of this settled peace rather than tears and sorrow amidst life trials. Perhaps it is too much to ask for happiness in this life. Any happiness I do receive is an extra blessing from the Lord. I only ask to be able to have joy and hope in Christ. With these hopefully I shall be content even if all else is striped from me.

At the present, there are things in this life that I am concerned and care about. Though most of these concerns and cares are temporary (from an eternal perspective), they are nevertheless important to me, at least for the duration of this life. And hopefully the things in this life now that are important to me are things that will also have eternal impact. I hope they will be things that lend to my sanctification and to my goal to glorify God in this life.

"our Lord will come"

It is curious how the pain of suffering and heartache can bring one to desire Heaven that much more. In my lows, my hopes in the return of my Savior could not be higher. In the lowest of lows, I can always remember that nothing will ever be lower in my life than when I was dead in sin. Perhaps this is something I need to remember more often.

Maranatha.

weak vessel

"Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." - Hebrews 4:14-16

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It's hard to get thoughts together at such a late hour when I am definitely feeling the weariness, but reading this verse in the quiet hour of the night when everyone else is sleeping is soothing to me. I was actually thinking over a couple of things strung together that brought me in the end to this verse. Recently, I've been dwelling on the road Christ led to the cross. In the end, all that supported and followed him scattered, and He was utterly forsaken. We can all relate to that at times, can't we? Don't we all experience times in our lives where we feel kind of alone, or even forsaken or abandoned to an extent? It's a painful feeling, and I think about how it must have felt for Christ knowing in advance that his closest followers would flee and yet He still was determined to go to the cross for the sake of the glory of the Father. What strikes me more than being deserted by his friends is the forsaking that takes place on the cross. Because He took upon himself our sin, my sin, He bore the wrath of God for us and was forsaken by the Father because of our sin. I can't even imagine what it must have felt like for Christ to have perfect, constant, complete triune fellowship with the Father broken and for Him to be separated from the Father. It was probably in that darkest moment of human history on the cross that Christ felt the deepest loneliness that any forsaken person could ever feel. Can you not hear the anguish when He cries out "My God, My God, why have you forsaken Me?" I am in awe when I remember that it is by his wounds that we are healed. Because He was forsaken, I have a restored personal relationship with God.

As my heart was dwelling on these things this week, tonight I remember that lest I ever feel defeated by my weaknesses and the things that are troublesome and painful in life, I can remember the humanity of Christ. I have a God who sympathizes with my weaknesses down to the even most basic human needs. There are times when I detest my weaknesses. I grew up in a family where I was made to feel that emotions and feelings are a weakness, and to be quite honest I still feel that way a lot of the time. There are times when I feel ashamed for the pain or weakness I feel and would wish them away if I could. Scripture doesn't hide away Christ's humanity. When I read the Scriptures I remember that Christ thirsted on the cross. He went hungry. He grew tired and weary. He felt sorrow, grief. There is so much comfort and hope in knowing that we have a God who has been through the whole gamut of human weaknesses, and yet without sin. Not only does He understand our humanity, but Christ has conquered where I have failed. Though in this life I will have to deal with my weaknesses, Christ has conquered sin on my behalf and the victory has been won.

In truth, I inhabit a weak, fallen body with (sometimes) weak, fallen emotions. But I think often fail to remember that Savior felt things intensely as well, and had moments of human weakness. Christ being utterly forsaken on the cross was probably the lowest, weakest point in human history. I know I will continue to struggle on this side of Heaven, but I hope more and more as I look to my Savior that I will find hope and comfort in times of weakness (and even to say with Paul that I will rejoice in my weakness!).

Conclusion?: When faced with my emotions, I am often plagued by guilt or shame over my human weakness. Forces in this world only act to strengthen my feelings of shame. But because we have Christ as our sympathizing high priest, the truth of Scripture would bid me to draw near with confidence, not shame, to His throne of grace. Humbled and broken, I can take comfort in knowing that I will always receive mercy and find grace to help in my time of need.

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"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."
- 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

"And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong."
- 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

balm: a soothing restorative agency

Valley of Vision: "Sleep" (165)

...Help me when I helpless lie,
when my conscience accuses me of sin,
when my mind is harassed by foreboding thoughts,
when my eyes are held awake by personal anxieties.

Show thyself to me as the God of all grace, love and power;
thou hast a balm for every wound,
a solace for all anguish,
a remedy for every pain,
a peace for all disquietude.
Permit me to commit myself to thee awake or asleep.

Psalm 16:8-11 - "I have set the Lord continually before me; Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my glory rejoices; My flesh also will dwell securely. For You will not abandon my soul to Sheol; Nor will You allow Your Holy One to undergo decay. You will make known to me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever."